Hold Me Tight
by Resiviech
Summary: Armin is upset after a failed expedition, but refuses to talk about it. Eren is worried for his best friend when he suddenly shows up in Eren's bedroom. (Platonic Eremin. Can be seen as more.)


Disclaimer: I don't own SnK and its characters, as much as I'd love to.

Just some platonic Eremin cuddling, because I needed that. Ugh, babies.

I imagine Eren and Armin to be around 20 in this fic. Also can we talk about older Armin with long hair? Because damn, that's hot.  
Jean originally wasn't meant to be in that fic but I just couldn't help myself. Also writing him and Eren banter is just too much fun.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this :D Thanks again to Julia for beta reading this.

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"Armin, wait!" Eren caught his best friend's hand before he could make another step away from him. The blond sighed but turned around. Eren could tell that he wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible but he needed to talk to Armin first.

"I'm tired Eren, what do you want?" Armin's gaze was fixed on his boots. That alone was speaking volumes but Eren had to make sure that his suspicions were right. "Are you all right?" His voice was filled with concern. The brunette noticed Armin tensing up slightly, causing the frown on his face to become even deeper. He wasn't, that was more than obvious.

But Armin was stubborn. Still, he finally lifted his head to meet Eren's eyes. "I'm fine. Well, at least not worse than usual. Really, all I need is some rest."

They had just returned from their latest expedition about an hour ago. While the Scouting Legion had made considerable progress in the last couple of years, they still had lost lots of their members during those expeditions. Far too many. And that last one had been particularly bad. Almost 40% of the legion had died just as they used Armin's newly developed strategy for the first time.

"Armin, it wasn't your fault. You shouldn't..." Eren's grip around Armin's wrist tightened, but the blond quickly yanked his arm free as he interrupted him. "Shut it, Eren! I told you I'm fine. I just want to be alone right now." With those words Armin turned around and left for his quarters with large strides. Eren sighed. Well that didn't go too well.

"Woah, what have you done, Yeager? Aren't you guys usually all lovey-dovey around each other?" Eren flinched when an arm suddenly landed around his shoulder. Turning his head towards Jean's face next to him, Eren sighed. They used to hate each other with a burning passion but over the years they had become close friends. Somehow. "Fuck off, Jean. Why are you assuming that everything is always my fault?" The other just shrugged. "Because it is more often than you'd like to admit."

Jean moved a step back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever, calm down. Do you know what's wrong with him? I've hardly ever seen him like this." Eren shook his head. "I have no idea. But I assume that he is upset about the outcome of the expedition. He said he wanted to be alone." "Well, then we shouldn't bother him. He'll be fine." Jean paused, an awkward silence stretching between them for a moment, before he continued.

"Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if you want to have a drink with me and the others?" Eren considered Jean's offer before he finally shook his head once again. "No, thanks. I just want to go to sleep." "Fine, just don't whine too much when you hear about how great our night was without you, Yeager", Jean replied with a smug grin. Eren just raised an eyebrow in return. "You mean when you're all half dead with a major hangover?" "Touché."

–

Eren couldn't sleep. He wasn't quite sure whether it was because of the hardship of the last couple of days or because of Armin. He was still worried. To be honest, Eren could hardly fight the urge to get up and look after him but that was ridiculous. It was the middle of the night, damn it. Armin was probably sleeping. And he really needed it more than anyone else of them, Eren decided.

He blinked in confusion when he suddenly heard a soft shuffling sound in front of his door. For a second Eren thought that it might be one of the others trying to find their room after drinking too much beer. It stayed quiet for a short while, making Eren wonder if he had just imagined the noise, until suddenly his door was slowly pushed open.

Sitting up, Eren rolled his eyes. Ugh, please don't be Jean.

His eyes widened slightly in shock when he recognized his best friend awkwardly standing in the door frame. Eren couldn't see his expression with the only light coming from the lit hallway behind him. Why the hell hadn't they turned off the lights yet? No, wait, that wasn't important right now.

After waiting a couple of moments longer to give Armin the chance to start talking, Eren finally asked: "Armin, what's wrong?" Armin being here wasn't a good sign, he wouldn't bother Eren at this time of the night if it wasn't important.

"I..." Armin's voice was merely a whisper Eren could hardly make out in the quiet room. The pain lying underneath that single word broke Eren's heart. He hadn't heard his best friend so broken in years. "Armin, come here. You must be cold." He tried to talk as gently as possible in an attempt to comfort the other who was still standing stiff and motionless next to the open door.

Just as silently as he had entered the room, Armin ultimately shut the door behind him and slowly made his way over to the bed. Eren could hardly see him in the dark so he waited impatiently for him to come closer.

Finally, Armin sat down on the bed and, without another word, leaned against Eren. The brunette shivered slightly when their bodies touched. Fuck, Armin was ice cold. How long had he been waiting in the hallway, too afraid to enter the room? Eren bit his bottom lip. He didn't like that. No, he wanted Armin to be able to come to him at any time without feeling insecure or bad about it. Like when they were still trainees. They used to sleep together in one bed more often than Eren would like to admit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Eren was startled when Armin suddenly spoke. Shaking his head, Eren wrapped his arms around his best friend's trembling form. "No, don't. It's ok, just tell me what's wrong."

Armin sobbed quietly in response, although it was muffled as he buried his face in Eren's chest. "I..." He tried to force some kind of explanation out, but the blond's sentence was interrupted by another sob.

"Ssh, it's ok", Eren whispered soothingly. "You don't have to tell me now." He started rubbing small circles on Armin's back with one hand, while he slowly guided both of them in a lying position. It would be much more comfortable if they stayed like this, Eren thought.

As soon as Eren was finished pulling the blanket over them, Armin shifted even closer, practically curling up next to Eren with his face still buried in his chest. The brunette pulled him into a tight hug once again as he continued drawing small circles on his best friend's back. His free hand wandered up to gently stroke the blond's hair.

It was a lot longer than it used to be. Eren never really thought about it but now that he was running his finger's through the long blond strands, he couldn't help but notice.

Armin was sobbing freely now without any attempts of concealing his feelings. It broke Eren, he could practically hear his own heart shatter.

Armin was so much stronger now than he used to be and Eren had to admit that a part of him had forgotten that he wasn't immune. He could still be hurt, even if he learned not to break down as easily as he used to.

Everyone had reached a point before when pressure and pain became too much. This was Armin's.

–

Eren had no idea how long they stayed like this, with Armin quietly crying into his chest and him simply holding him and whispering soothing words into his ear, until the blond's sobs finally slowly died away. They both must have fallen asleep at some point because by the time Eren opened his eyes, he could see a soft stream of sunlight shining through the cracks of the curtains.

He took a deep breath through his nose, before he shifted his gaze downwards. Armin still was pressed as tightly against his body as before, maybe even tighter. They must have inter-wined their legs while they were sleeping. The lower half of their bodies was just a huge mess of limbs.

"How long have you been awake?", Eren asked as he brushed a strand of Armin's hair from his face. His best friend was resting with his cheek against his heart and his open eyes were fixed on the wall opposite him. Eren could finally see his face in the dim light of the sun shining through the curtains. Armin still looked upset, but he seemed to be better than last night.

"Not too long." After a moment of hesitation he added: "I didn't mean to wake you up." Armin's voice was quiet and sounded exhausted. Eren sighed. "You didn't wake me up. And besides, I really wouldn't mind." "That's not what you told me all these times when I woke you up for class." Eren laughed and smiled brightly when he noticed the small smile on Armin's lips. "Oh stop it, Armin, that's completely different. It was for class!"

They both fell silent then, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was the kind of shared silence that meant nothing but warmth and the knowledge that they weren't alone. The two of them used to share lots of these moments back when they were still living their peaceful lives in Shinganshina. They could spend hours just lying next to each other in the grass and listening to the noises surrounding them.

"It's my fault." Armin's voice was so silent, Eren almost didn't even notice that he had spoken. He looked back down at Armin, his expression of surprise immediately replaced by a frown. "Armin." "No, Eren, don't. It's true. I should have... I should have known that something like this could happen. I've made a mistake and it killed all of them. They trusted me and my plan." He paused, sucking in a deep breath, before he continued speaking. Armin's voice was shaking now. Eren could tell that he was close to tears again. "I should have known... I... Fuck that always happens. People always get killed because of me. Just like you got... because of me... you could be..."

Armin sobbed quietly, desperately wiping away the tears that kept streaming down his face. Eren was fed up with this. He didn't want to see his friend suffering like this anymore. "Armin don't. Stop, please." Armin paused in his movements, but the tears kept rolling down his face.

Eren sighed deeply, before he shifted positions, until they were both lying on their sides with their faces only inches apart. "You couldn't have known that all these Titans would attack at once. It was a surprise. We both know that this is always a possibility during any expedition. It was bad luck, extremely bad luck. But it wasn't your fault. Commander Erwin approved of your plan. He wouldn't have done that if it had been so bad, right?"

Armin forced down another sob and nodded. His eyes were averted though, avoiding Eren's own. "Armin... look at me." Eren waited briefly for Armin to do as he had told him. He needed his best friend to really look at him for what he was about to say.

Eren was about to tell him again when Armin's eyes finally moved up, until blue irises, currently filled with tears, met with his own emerald ones. The brunette slowly lifted his hand to softly brush through the blond's hair.

"Armin, please, you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened all these years ago. It wasn't your fault. You were afraid. And hey, you didn't force me to jump into that Titan's mouth, right?" He smiled softly, before his features turned serious again. "You're not responsible for anyone's death, Armin. It's... it's a cruel, shitty world. And it sucks. But we have to keep fighting. For us, for everyone we have lost and everyone we can still safe." Armin had stopped crying by now, but one silent tear found its way down his cheek anyway. Eren gently wiped it away with his thumb before pressing his lips against his best friend's forehead.

"Just let me look after you, like you and Mikasa do and... hell, basically everyone else. Armin. You're my best friend, you always will be. I only have you and Mikasa left from home."

He closed his eyes, waiting for Armin to reply. He didn't though, not with words. Instead the blond pressed his face into the crook of Eren's neck and wrapped his arms tightly around his chest.

"I love you Armin, you know that, right?" Eren smiled softly when he felt Armin's lips curling up against his skin. "I know. I love you too, you stupid, suicidal bastard."


End file.
